Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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