fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
