I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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