I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
