We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
