I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Randomize
