i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
