Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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