She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
