He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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