Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
