So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
