she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
you are never too drunk for berry picking
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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