wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
