My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I supernannyed him into submission
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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