Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
