Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
either way he was missing a nipple.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
