You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
