this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
