hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
