just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
