No, drunk sperm still make babies.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
