I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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