I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
