it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Randomize
