Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
