fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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