so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
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