do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
