I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
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