Please, let me fuck your mom
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
The power of my boobs compel you
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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