You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
