I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
