You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
She even gives head with a lisp.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
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