Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
