can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Randomize
