Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
