i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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