I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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