If i come over, it means nothing
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
