The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
