eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
