2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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