Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
