you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
