when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
