How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
