I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I will be naked everywhere
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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