I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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