And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
