i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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